I am a clairvoyant

This is something I have actively ignored most of my life, just not paying attention.  Until a few years ago when a terrible thing happened and I knew something bad was going to happen.  I can still remember the exact moment so clearly, and I had never felt anything like that until then.  The feeling was very, intense.  I remember my vision, my actual vision seemed to zoom into this one person, and everything sort of went dark grey.  Sure enough, one of the most terrible events in my life was about to unfold.  I panicked for sure, I am sure now, there would've been something I could've said to soothe the situation, but I panicked.  I still panic to this day, because of fear, and limited self confidence.  I have been beat up too much by humanity and feel as though I am damaged in some way.  Also sometimes it hard to tell the difference between my own paranoia, everybody hates me or has something against me, or real things.